The Britball Nation Awards 2016 – Worst Uniform

Welcome one and all to the first ever Britball Nation Awards, celebrating all things Britball in 2016.

We have a host of awards coming up over the next few weeks, with various selection methods being used to determine the winners and losers. Ahead of the video submissions, the Nation’s Choice and the Nation Nomination awards, we present our lead-off categories, determined by a panel of Britball experts from all versions of the game in this country.

 

Worst Uniform

Of all the categories discussed by the DC Awards Panel, Worst Uniform drew the loudest debate. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, meaning that opinion splitters like Northampton Nemesis’ black, maroon and gold, and Glasgow Tigers’ anti-uniform didn’t quite make the final cut. The final nominees are all so objectively bad, they couldn’t be ignored.

The nominees are: Tynedale Fury (grey camo/grey camo), Portsmouth Dreadnoughts (silver/yellow ), Leicester Longhorns (green camo/black), Tarannau Aberystwyth (electric blue/blue), ARU Rhinos (lol)

ARU Rhinos

ARU Rhinos make this list purely for comedy value – thanks to their ironically-named jersey supplier, Rhino, their jerseys have been literally nowhere to be seen in 2016. We have visions of something similar to the below:

rhino
Artists impression of ARU’s amazing technicolour dream-jerseys.

Leicester Longhorns

On a more serious note, one jersey that should probably have been sent back, doused in lighter fluid and thrown on a bonfire is Leicester Longhorns’ “camo” effort. At least, we think it’s camo – it might be a tribute to broccoli? Green jigsaws?

Further, it’s often difficult to know which longhorns jersey to criticise as they appear to use a hotchpotch of four different iterations of their green/maroon green/black jerseys on game days…

longhorns3 longhorns5
Images shared via Leicester University Longhorns on Facebook

 

Portsmouth Dreadnoughts

When you think of colours that really don’t match, silver and yellow must be right up there. Combine that panetone horror show with a naval-theme silhouette on then numbers and an overbearing carbon fibre pattern, and you can see why Portsmouth Dreadnoughts road jerseys make the list. It also gains ‘extra credit’ for actually being a decent concept… completely ruined by execution.

Photography shared via Portsmouth Dreadnoughts on Facebook
Photography shared via Portsmouth Dreadnoughts on Facebook
Tynedale Fury

Tynedale Fury (grey camo over grey camo, Union Jack trim)

Let’s get one point out of the way – we know it was for charity. We know it was for a great cause. That, however, can only go some way to excusing this fashion faux pas.

The Tynedale Fury ‘Tribute to the Troops’ uniforms are/were controversial from the get go.

Again, a bit of camo might not have been a bad thing. They could even have stuck a small Union Jack above the logo, or on the helmet. But no. Full grey camo, with a side order of “shoulder of flag”. And horrible numbers.

At least the pants matched…

Image shared via Tynedale Fury Facebook page
Image shared via Tynedale Fury Facebook page
Tarannau Aberystwyth

Speaking of concepts ruined by execution, we present Tarannau Aberystwyth. We get it, your nickname is “Lightning”. Doesn’t mean you have to cover THE ENTIRE SHOULDER AND SLEEVE AREA with lightning bolts. Less. Is. More. However, these all pale in comparison to our winner of this award.

Photography by JJW Photography, shared via Instagram
Photography by JJW Photography, shared via Instagram

Speaking of concepts ruined by execution, we present Tarannau Aberystwyth. We get it, your moniker is welsh for ‘Thunder’… Doesn’t mean you have to cover THE ENTIRE SHOULDER AND SLEEVE AREA with lightning bolts.

Less. Is. More.

 

 

And the winner is…

Spoiler
Tynedale Fury (grey camo over grey camo, Union Jack trim)

Cracking idea, cringeful execution. One merit of the design is at least that the camo effect may have helped the players blend into the background… Were they to play on a grey pitch, the opposing team would have to deal with the illusion of playing against a team of floating helmets and flags!

[caption id="attachment_30011" align="aligncenter" width="960"]Most confusing boyband album cover ever? Photo shared via Tynedale Fury on Facebook Most confusing boyband album cover ever? Photo shared via Tynedale Fury on Facebook[/caption]
Next up on the awards front, we look at the over- and under-achievers of 2016

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Nick

Nick 'Willy Tee' Wilson-Town hails from the South West where he's spent the last decade bouncing around various teams at the university and senior level. He came to fame on the now departed unofficial forum thanks to his regularly irreverent Uniball predictions and general 'BUAFL wafflage'. Follow him on twitter @WillyTee1