The Scoop – 27/28 August 2016

We’ve been reliably informed that on Sundays, some of the #BritballNation actually do something other than pay attention to our manic live coverage of each and every* Britball game?!

Little things like working, supporting, or even playing in the actual games themselves all rather inconveniently get in the way of keeping yourself up to speed with the results and ramifications from around the #Nation.

Never fear, DC is here! With a scoop of the important bits from the past weekend of Britball!

Oooh-ee! What a weekend of Britball! FOUR national finals, four division two semi-finals, burgers, upsets, one waaabulance required in the Twittersphere and a cake shortage crisis!


U19 National Championship

Kent came into the game hotly favoured by much of the DC Team, and in the end rolled out worthy winners. However, it was far less clear cut than even the fairly narrow 14-8 scoreline would suggest. The East Kilbride Pirates led for most of the game after an early score from Kent was immediately answered by the Pirates. The Exiles had to hold firm against repeated Pirate trips into their redzone, before finally taking a go ahead score on a 50 yard shot downfield. Even then the Pirates drove deep into Exiles territory, but the Kent team held firm making yet another redzone stand to hold on for the win.

Kent Exiles 14-9 East Kilbride Pirates

Exiles worthy winners and a great sign for the future of their programme.

U19 National Plate

With the three time Junior National Champs coming to town and squaring off against a midlands Juniors side that many believed were only in the postseason thanks to another programme dropping out? There were again many that expected a one-sided fixture.

Once more the Juniors showed they clearly had other ideas!

The Caesars drew first blood, Robbie Jones returning the opening Kick Off for a score, and tacked on two. The Wildcats bit right back, driving down the field before Steve McMeechan bowled his way into the endzone. Quarter two opened up with Wildcats’ QB Euan Crawford keeping hold of the pigskin and rushing into the pay dirt that would put the score at 14-8 going into the half after a dramatic goal line stand from the ‘Cats. The third quarter was one for the defences, but the fourth opened up with Caesars’ Robbie Jones busting through tackler after tackler and bringing the scores even at 14-14 with the clock winding down.

The Cats got tricksy, Mark Pyper, now in at QB after Crawford departed with a dislocated finger, duping the Caesars D with hardcounts before taking off and scrambling for the go ahead score. Pyper followed this up with a sack-strip-recovery, shutting down the Caesars last drive and snagging the win.

Highland Wildcats 22-14 Nottingham Caesars

For once BAFA and DC agreed, with both MVP awards going to #Ironman and #HomeGrownBaller Mark Pyper 



Britbowl XXX – Premiership National Championship

The first quarter made things appear fairly balanced, but as the game ground on it was apparent that the Warriors were the better prepared programme. The Blitz made repeated mistakes that were quickly capitalised upon by the Warriors offence, bruising runner Dwayne Watson punishing Blitz defenders, while returned-from-the-states QB Jerome Allen repeatedly connected with his go-to downfield target, James Cherry. A second quarter QB switch out for the Blitz didn’t imply much confidence in their offence who were clearly struggling to hold on to the ball in a rainswept first half.

While the individual talent between the two sides didn’t seem particularly mismatched, one programme was clearly clicking while the other seemed intent on digging themselves into holes, with fumbles and interceptions galore – DB/Kick Returner Josh Amis having himself a big day with two picks and some big kickoff/punt returns to set the Warriors up in great field positions.

With a scoreline of London Warriors 36-15 London Blitz at the final whistle, this is the Warriors’ fourth straight National Championship and the largest margin of victory in a Britbowl since the London O’s defeated the East Kilpride Pirates 35-7 in Britbowl XVII in 2003… But don’t take our word for it – go watch it yourself! Full game tape and commentary is available on YouTube and highlights should be incoming soon™!

BAFA MVP went to Dwayne Watson for a full four quarters of bruising running, while the #DCMVP award went to Josh Amis for #BallinOut in multiple phases of the game.

Division One National Championship

This one was a great and gritty bowl game as the champions of the North and the South went head to head.

Bury opened the scoring with two-time Britbowl MVP Fred Boyle looking sharp. But the Wolves struck right back courtesy of a powerful run game that ground out yards and pushed the pile on each play, eventually busting into the end zone and converting for a 7-6 lead.

Bury answered with a Field Goal as Edinburgh repeatedly held firm for four-down stints inside their own 20, giving them a narrow 9-7 lead at the half.

Saints came out into the second looking revitalised, and when a PI call against the Wolves gave them great field position, they capitalised on it and took a 15-7 lead. The Wolves would not be undone, their powerful run game continuing to cause troubles, and as the clock ticked over into the fourth quarter. Following an injury break that saw Saints #55 Dan Vicsick stretchered off the field, the Wolves used a QB draw to punch one up the middle and into the end zone However, the 2PAT failed, leaving the Wolves still trailing 13-15.

The Fourth quarter was plagued with further injury delays as big men on both teams, not used to having to fight so hard so long into games, began dropping. Team Medic certainly earned their cookies!  Play got sloppy and the teams traded turnovers before Boyle, deep inside the Wolves’ redzone, connected with his receiver on a slant. The 2PAT failed, but the Saints now had a two score lead deep inside the two minute warning.

The Wolves took a final long-shot, but were picked off allowing the Saints to kneel out the game as worthy Division One Champions with a 21-13 victory. This means the Saints have had back to back bowl wins, while the Wolves will head to the Premiership North with a triple-fried Mars bar (we hear they’re the ‘chip’ alternative in Scotland?) on their shoulder having faced three bowl losses on the trot.

Saints Wide Receiver Joe Hill was named BAFA MVP, but the #DCMVP award went without question to the strongarmed heroine that was #SaintsStreamerLady, also known as Busy Saints Game Day Manager Kirsty Pattrick who fought arm-ache, battery drain and a lack of caffeine to bring live coverage of the game to the BritballNation. Tape of the entire game (broken up into a few parts due to battery switches, etc) can be found on the Bury Saints Facebook page.

Division Two Semi-Finals

The Newcastle Vikings and Leicester Falcons both lit up their opponents, each team slapping on their second-straight postseason #50Burger and making it look like the NFC2 final in a fortnights time should be an out and out shootout!

The Romans did make the Falcons look human for at least the first quarter of the game, but once the birds got going they didn’t stop racking up points… Though it is worth noting Leicester conceded more points in this one semi-final than in their entire regular season!

The 6/10 DC writers that had opted for Leeds were sorely disappointed, as the Bobcats foolishly headed to the Semi-Finals sans half time cake and were therefore justifiably handed a heavy beating by the voracious Vikings who have averaged 55ppg since their surprise loss in Week Twelve.

Meanwhile down south the Saints completed their dominance over long-time rivals the Bristol Apache, with a convincing 40-19 win, built upon the big-play abilities of James Walter and Tony Glover who each found pay dirt three times and having gone 21-0 up early on, a second half revival from the Apache was too little, too late.

The biggest surprise of the weekend came from the Cambridgeshire Cats who turned over two regular season losses with a 9-0 shutout victory over the London Hornets on the Hornets’ home soil! We’re wondering whether the Hornets supplying DC with their newer logo and us switching it into the pre-game images had anything to do with it… Or perhaps it was just #NanaBritballs steely-eyed support that cowed the Hornets into submission. Either way, we’re given to believe this was the postgame situation:



Ronald McDonald cried tears of joy this week as, despite only eight games being played, a quarter of them results in burgers! Back to back postseason burgers no less!

We got the chef to fry these double deckers up special!





Nick 'Willy Tee' Wilson-Town hails from the South West where he's spent the last decade bouncing around various teams at the university and senior level. He came to fame on the now departed unofficial forum thanks to his regularly irreverent Uniball predictions and general 'BUAFL wafflage'. Follow him on twitter @WillyTee1