The Scoop – 6/7 August 2016

We’ve been reliably informed that on Sundays, some of the #BritballNation actually do something other than pay attention to our manic live coverage of each and every* Britball game?!

Little things like working, supporting, or even playing in the actual games themselves all rather inconveniently get in the way of keeping yourself up to speed with the results and ramifications from around the #Nation.

Never fear, DC is here! With a scoop of the important bits from the past weekend of Britball!


Following a final tournament on Saturday the eight teams taking part in each of the Championship and Plate Tournaments have been confirmed:

  • Kent Exiles (London & South East, 10-2)
  • Essex Spartans (Outer London East, 12-0)
  • Cobham Cougars (Outer London West, 10-2)
  • Solent Thrashers (South West, 12-0)
  • Birmingham Bulls (Central, 11-1)
  • Chester Romans (North West, 12-0)
  • Lincolnshire Bombers (North East, 10-2)
  • East Kilbride Pirates (Scotland, 11-1)


Will take part in the National Championship Tournament on 3 September. Each team will play three games and following these will be ranked #1 through to #8.

  • London Warriors (London & South East, 7-5)
  • Bedfordshire Blackhawks (Outer London East, 5-7)
  • Buckinghamshire Wolves (Outer London West, 8-4)
  • Cornish Sharks (South West, 6-6)
  • Tamworth Phoenix (Central, 8-4)
  • Manchester Titans (North West, 7-5)
  • Leeds Academy Assassins (North East, 9-3)
  • Highland Wildcats (Scotland, 9-3)


Will take part in the National Plate Tournament on 3 September. Each team will play three games and following these will be ranked #1 through to #8.

Further information about the tournament structure and first round fixtures to follow as we approach finals day.


Kent Exiles beat London Blitz 28-14 at the weekend, completing a perfect 6-0 season and locking up their place as champions of the South One Conference. They will host the Birmingham Lions in their semi-final, who similarly won the South Two Conference without taking a single loss on the season.

The rest of the conference winners were already fixed prior to last weekend:

The East Kilbride Pirates tied up the North One Conference in mid-July with a second win over the Highland Wildcats. Their 5-0-1 record means they’ll be travelling to the North Two Conference Champs, the Manchester Titans, who rounded off their perfect season with a narrow 14-12 win over the Leeds Academy Assassins on 23 July.

The Nottingham Caesars‘ 28-22 win over the Buckinghamshire Wolves on Saturday was largely academic following the Farnham Knights’ withdrawal from the conference, but means they round out their season with a .500 record and will be travelling to London at the weekend to take on the London Blitz in the National Plate semi-finals. The Blitz suffered their first defeat of the season in the Conference Crown decider against Kent this past Sunday.

With the Newcastle Vikings’ withdrawal from the North One, the Highland Wildcats (3-2-1) loss each-way to the Pirates meant they’ve been locked in as the Plate contenders since mid-July and will be headed south this weekend to take on the Leeds Academy Assassins (5-1) who similarly sealed their playoff berth up in July following their loss to the Titans.



Leeds Academy Assassins and the Chester Romans each put up one of only four #50Burger scores this past weekend, but lest you think we’ve forgotten you:

Assassins Junior 50 Burger Romans Junior 50 Burger



All of this weekend’s games in both Premiership conferences were essentially meaningless in terms of playoff ramifications. However, both Tamworth and the London Warriors rounded out perfect 10-0 seasons.


Division One

Few surprises in the Division One Quarter Finals as all the higher seeds put in confident performances. The Manchester Titans gave the Sandwell Steelers a bit of a scare when they came within 4 points of the #3 seed in the third quarter, but in the end all four home sides emerged clear victors by multi-score margins.

This sets up the following Semi-Final fixtures:

  • Edinburgh Wolves vs Kent Exiles
  • Bury Saints vs Sandwell Steelers.


That’s a 900 mile round trip for the Exiles**.


Division Two North

The Newcastle Vikings sealed up the NFC II North conference crown win their win over Northumbria, while the Glasgow Tigers confirmed a trip to playoffs but will have to battle to decide which berth they’ll take to the postseason against the Aberdeen Roughnecks on Sunday.

Shropshire’s win means they’ve secured the #2 spot in the NFC II South – pretty impressive considering the Revs went winless in 2015.

The Halton Spartans held off a late rally from the Walney Terriers to keep their playoff hopes alive, but at 6-4 their fate is out of their hands. Their best hope for some postseason balling in their second league season is for the Humber Warhawks to either beat the Staffordshire Surge, or at least put up 29 points on them in a loss – else the Surge will steal the Spartans’ final postseason spot.

We might suggest the Spartans grab their pompoms and head to Longton Rugby Club to cheer on some Warhawks on Sunday.


Division Two South

Going into the final week of the regular season and there’s still five playoff spots not yet secured in the South!

The London Hornets’ win means they’ve sealed the SFC II East Conference***, whilst the Cambridgeshire Cats‘ win puts them in a good position to see some postseason balling, but will need to wait on other results for confirmation. It’s win and in for the Wembley Stallions this weekend, but they’re going against the currently undefeated Hornets. A loss for the Stallions means the Cats will take #2 and the Stallions will be contesting one of the two third place berths.

The East Kent Mavericks‘ loss to the Berkshire Renegades dropped them from first place, to third, while ensuring the Renegades will definitely see postseason football – most likely as conference champs with a win over the Hastings Conquerors on Sunday. The Bournemouth Bobcats and East Kent will be duking it out for the #2 spot in the SFC II South on Sunday and again, the loser will be looking to other results to see if they steal a third place berth.

The likely key to all of this is the SFC II West. Both Bristol Apache and the Cornish Sharks won at the weekend, meaning that this Sunday’s match up between these two in Bristol not only has the potential to decide the #2 spot in the conference, but a Sharks loss also simplifies the situation for the other two southern conferences – at 6-4 the Sharks miss playoffs and the South and East third placers go through to the postseason. Should the Sharks triumph however? Then it all gets rather complicated.



It seems the Hamburglar was active this weekend as we only saw two #50Burgers from our seniors – courtesy of the revived East Kilbride Pirates and the Chester Romans. This is tied for the lowest number of ‘burgers we’ve seen since Week Three where the #Nation went hungry without a single burger to #NomNomNom on!

Romans-50-burger Pirates-50-burger

*Senior. We’re working on the others but we’re low on Elves.
** Sorry Mavericks, no, you weren’t suddenly promoted to the Division One Playoffs. My bad. :/
*** We totally owe you guys a crown. Oops.




Nick 'Willy Tee' Wilson-Town hails from the South West where he's spent the last decade bouncing around various teams at the university and senior level. He came to fame on the now departed unofficial forum thanks to his regularly irreverent Uniball predictions and general 'BUAFL wafflage'. Follow him on twitter @WillyTee1