Uniball Week Three – Fixtures Update

Update to our update: Lancaster v York as now also been called off due to waterlogged pitch, and we’ve added a statement from the Westminster Dragons president re: their postponement against QMBL.

It’s wax on, wax off, as we lose two of this weekend’s fixtures, but acquire two more!

The Rhinos remain fashion divas

Essex Blades vs ARU Rhinos has been pushed back until after Christmas so that the Rhinos can await the arrival of their new jerseys, that were sent back to the supplier (Rhino, no less) due to issues with the size of the numbers of the Jerseys.

In fairness, it’s not the Rhino’s choice not to play, but rather their Athletic Union’s decision to postpone their team’s games until the new jerseys arrive with the right size numbers.

Because, you know, who cares if you massively disadvantage your athletes  by not allowing them to build up game-time experience through half the season, so long as when they subsequently get beaten by more experienced teams, they do so while wearing the right jerseys.

Nice work Anglia Ruskin sports department.

Dragons remain creatures of myths and legends

Their season opener last weekend never took place courtesy of LSBU dropping out, and now it appears the Westminster Dragons v QMBL Vipers fixture is going to be pushed as well.

We’re yet to confirm a definitive reason for the postponement (apparently there have been a variety), but the Vipers have expressed their own eagerness to get the fixture played. When contacted for a statement:

“We are focusing on Greenwich next week.”

And we get the impression that the lack of words used say as lot about the words they would have liked to use.

Mathias Ijeh, President of the Westminster Dragons shared with DC:

“Sadly we’ve had to postpone the game due mainly to us having too many injured players in key positions. Knowing that making them play would most probably aggravate their situation, we made the request to the QMBL Vipers to postpone the game, in order for us to have a healthy squad for that game.”

That’s… certainly a new one to us here at DC Towers.

This however means that there are no 2A South East games this weekend.

Centurions Twtter ramps up the shade as Bombers postpone Roses preview

The Lancaster Bombers have been forced to postpone their fixture against the York Centurions due to a waterlogged pitch.

The Centurions, home of one of the more active and lighthearted twitter accounts in Uniball, have approached the subject with their typical grace and formality:


Frankly, we’re just surprised the Centurions haven’t yet claimed the reason behind Lancaster’s waterlogged pitch is the number of tears that were shed during their winless and scoreless 2015/16 campaign, that still haven’t dried up despite one of the warmest summers in British history… #FuelOnTheFire #HereToHelp


But never fear, as one door closes, another opens, and in fairness it’s a couple of cracking match ups that have risen up the league schedule to take place this weekend.

Can the Killer Bees sting twice?

You’ve probably heard that bees can only sting once? When they sting someone they can’t retract their barbed stinger and so flying away it not only leaves behind the stinger, but also a significant part of its abdomen, digestive tract, muscles and nerves. Rather unsurprisingly, this massive abdominal rupture kills the bee within minutes.

Well, turns out, that’s only true for honey bees.  Most bees have smooth stinger and can stab away to their little buzzing heart’s content!

(Eds: And you thought you were only going to learn about football by reading DC?)

What type of Bees the ones from Bath are we’ll get to learn this weekend, as they stung the Lions badly last weekend at xpLosION and are clearly looking to keep their momentum rolling as they’ve moved the return leg against the Hertfordshire Hurricanes up to this weekend!


Division One Power Rankings get easier (hopefully)

We should have a clearer picture as to the shape of the 1A North Western  when the UCLan Rams and Hallam Warriors go head to head, we believe on Saturday (?). The two teams have chosen move their fixture up a number of weeks to save football having to interfere with players heading home for free food and the tri-annual dirty laundry deposit.

No long will these two be joined at the hip in the weekly PRs… Unless they draw?




Nick 'Willy Tee' Wilson-Town hails from the South West where he's spent the last decade bouncing around various teams at the university and senior level. He came to fame on the now departed unofficial forum thanks to his regularly irreverent Uniball predictions and general 'BUAFL wafflage'. Follow him on twitter @WillyTee1